Flicker Out
by StarPurpleandBlue
Summary: When Tsuna and Shoichi created the plan that'd bring past Tsuna and his friends to their future, they considered all possibilities, including the Sky Arcobaleno's power and what Byakuran's death could result in. Or so they thought. One small miscalculation may lead to many outcomes, and, in this case, it comes in the form of a cold pacifier and a forever missing friend. TYL!Setting


_**A/N:**_ This idea came to me one night when I was thinking about the TYL Arc and searching for things that weren't explained, as well as possible plot holes. I found a great one and decided to develop it, so here it is! Some of the details here are simply headcanons (or things that I prefer, like how I like to think that that awful future world didn't have all its problems solve simply by Byakuran's death) while others are explanations that I created trying to explain some things that happened. It's quite possible that a few of them don't fit perfectly with canon, but oh well.

I tried my best to make this very emotional, so hopefully that was achieved. After this bit of angst I'll go back to my happy fics, though XD

Betaread by _shockandlock._ Thank you!

* * *

When Tsuna finally woke up, he thought he was still dreaming. Yet, as memories that weren't his stopped flashing in his mind and he was left staring at a half destroyed ceiling, he knew he wasn't.

It was over. It was finally over.

Mere seconds later, Shoichi appeared in his field of vision, and Tsuna turned his head toward him in a daze. The exhausted but happy face that greeted him was the confirmation Tsuna needed. He broke out in a smile.

"It worked."

"It did." Shoichi nodded, a grin of his own growing on his face. "It's all thanks to your past self and his friends. They did a great job, amazing really."

Tsuna slowly sat up, and Shoichi helped him until he was finally standing. "Yes, I think I have all the memories of what happened." He stretched his arms, feeling how stiff they were. He still felt drowsy, and the relief he felt was almost enough to knock him back to the ground. "But without your help this wouldn't have worked, so thank you very much."

"N-no, it's okay. I-it was necessary." Shoichi shook his head, embarrassed, before sighing. "I can barely believe it worked and that it's finally over."

"Mhn, me too."

Tsuna looked to his side, to where all his guardians plus a few others lied still unconscious on the ground, faces relaxed. On the last memories he had of all his friends, most had been over themselves with worry and stress, so it was nice knowing that when they woke up it'd be different.

A small smile appeared on Tsuna's face, tender and full of love for his family, but also giving out all the relief that was making him feel like he was floating. He couldn't wait to talk with them again.

"Say, Shoichi, Spanner." Both looked at him, one with curiosity and the other with mild surprise. Tsuna's smile widened. "What do you think about joining us officially now?"

The happy smiles and excited glints in their eyes were enough for Tsuna to know what their answer would be.

* * *

Seeing his friends again, even if it didn't seem like much time had passed for him, had been a delight for Tsuna.

They had found him on the forest when he went to see his coffin - and how relieving it had been to see his old notebook back empty -, and the meeting was full of laughter, tears, hugs and scolding, varying in levels and loudness from each person. Tsuna could say he didn't mind even a second of it.

It didn't take them long to move back to the underground base to rest. There were many things that needed to be tended to and resolved, but Tsuna was ready for the endless hours of work that'd start again and had high hopes to settle everything.

Kyoya quickly disappeared with Kusakabe after a silent nod, and Chrome didn't take long to wander off with a promise to come back soon, no doubt leaving in search of Mukuro and the others. Kyoko and Haru had also acquired their memories of the past, and Tsuna knew he'd have a long conversation with them about everything very soon, if their looks meant anything.

Everyone had agreed on going over everything that happened and eating before starting work, which was how Tsuna found himself changing his clothes in his room to more comfortable ones after a shower, finally feeling more revigorated. His mood had been damped when he first saw how his bedroom was dusty, clearly unused, a few boxes with what Tsuna recognized as his things from his office gathered in a corner. Nothing seemed to have been taken from there or thrown away, which only left him feeling further torn by sadness and guilt. It had been a difficult situation for everyone, and even more so for those of his friends who knew about his "death".

Tsuna could see perfectly well the consequences of his actions in the way they were acting, how Hayato and Takeshi didn't seem to want to take more than a few steps away from him, how Oniisan kept glancing at him, or even how Lambo seemed to try hard to act like usual, throwing complaints here and there, but would get suddenly quiet and stare at him.

Tsuna wondered how long this would last, and if he'd ever be fully forgiven, no matter what they said. Nevertheless, it was already over, and Tsuna knew he shouldn't dwell too much. He took one long look at his bedroom, planning to take care of it later, and let his eyes linger a bit on his table.

It was there where Tsuna had left Reborn's pacifier the last time he had come here. The plan had already been formed, and he knew this base would be where his friends gathered, so it'd be the best place for past Reborn to appear in. He wondered what Reborn had thought when he saw the state of the room and discovered who it belonged to.

Shaking his head, Tsuna headed to the kitchen. Maybe he could ask the Reborn of his time about it after they met again - that is, if Tsuna survived whatever Reborn deemed was a good punishment for his deed, which no doubt would happen. For once, he wouldn't mind it, he just wanted to see Reborn and the others. He was a bit curious about how long it'd take for the Arcobaleno to come, considering they hadn't been present when he woke up and had left with Lal not long after, but he knew better than to be impatient.

It was then that a small nagging inside his head started, an annoying little whisper from his intuition telling him something wasn't right. Tsuna had no time to dwell on it since he arrived at the kitchen, and his friends greeted him with smiles and excited chitter-chatter. Tsuna concentrated on giving them his full attention, leaving that feeling in the back of his mind to be taken care of later. Unless his hyper intuition flared up, Tsuna knew he wouldn't have to hurry to discover the source of the problem, so he sat down and let himself be surrounded by his family's calming presence, relaxing again.

Tsuna once wondered if it was karma or something similar that prevented his happy moments from lasting long recently. Harsh reality didn't take long to come knocking on his door again.

"Sawada."

Tsuna smiled softly when he saw Lal Mirch enter the room. She still seemed a bit worse for wear, but he was sure she'd fully recover from the effects of the Anti Tri-ni-sette soon. She was a very strong woman, and the memories he received from his past self made him wish he could have had more contact with her before all this mess. Perhaps he could try now.

He was about to invite her to sit down with them and eat when he noticed the seriousness surrounding her, and his smile slipped from his face. "What's wrong?"

The grim look she sent him rang alarm bells on his head.

"I was in a meeting with the other Arcobaleno just now. As you must know, they were revived by Yuni, but because of that, the Sky Pacifier doesn't have an owner anymore. We were trying to figure out what'd happen from now on, but another problem came to our notice."

She almost sounded cold, detached, but Tsuna could see there was another feeling behind her words, one that kept her voice lower and farther from the firm confidence she showed than he remembered, and turned her eyes misty. He nodded numbly, and in some distant part of his brain he noticed how the room had fallen into a tense silence.

"Here." She hesitated slightly before she extended her closed hand toward Tsuna, sad acceptance and that same grimness darkening her features.

Not for the first time, Tsuna wished he could rewind time and freeze it in a peaceful moment, at least so he could enjoy his happiness and relief for a while longer. Alas, he couldn't, and neither could he deny Lal Mirch in such a serious matter.

Something to do with the Arcobaleno, who Tsuna hadn't seen yet, for they had dispersed as soon as they finished sending his past self and friends back to their time. The alarm bells were still ringing in his mind, the annoying soft tug of his intuition now screaming that something was terribly wrong.

It was with a barely audible sigh and a heaviness that he moved his arm and accepted whatever it was she wanted to give him.

His stomach plummeted when he saw the grey and cold pacifier.

 _It can't…_

"Future Reborn… the Reborn of our time, he didn't come back. It seems neither Yuni's power nor Byakuran's defeat changed... it. We-"

Tsuna didn't hear the rest of Lal Mirch's words. A memory, from what seemed like so long ago, flashed on his mind showing the time when Shoichi explained the mechanics of their plan, of the machine he'd need to keep Tsuna and his friends inside so there'd be no disturbance in any world. After all, no two of the same person could exist in the same place at the same time, and they couldn't risk it in case something went wrong with the Ten Year Bazooka.

Tsuna's intuition had fallen quiet, the mocking silence spreading a chilling cold through him.

"Two of the same person can't be in the same world. Of course." A knot formed on his throat.

Tsuna got up abruptly, interrupting Lal Mirch in the middle of what seemed like an apology. Why would she apologize? She wasn't at fault on anything.

No. He was.

"Excuse me for a moment." His voice barely came in a whisper, but he knew he had been heard by the soft calls of "Tsuna" and "Juudaime". The strain in those two words was heavy like he hadn't heard in a long time, and Tsuna hurried his pace until he was out of the room.

Nobody followed him, as it seemed their newest habit, and Tsuna was thankful at the same time he felt his stomach quench. He should have stayed, shouldn't he? Helped them receive the news as it dawned on everyone. But how could he when he was about to-

His feet guided him automatically, and Tsuna only noticed he was standing in front of his bed when the doors closed behind him and the sight of the dusty and unused room darkened. There was only one light coming from the bedside lamp he had forgotten to turn off.

Tsuna took two more steps before collapsing to the ground. His back found its way to the side of the bed while his legs folded and his hands clutched the pacifier to his chest, his lips curling down with a quiver.

He took a deep breath. Once more, twice, thrice.

Tsuna knew his plan had been risky, but he had decided to take a shot at it anyway, thinking it was their only chance at having peaceful lives again. He knew all the details, having had Shoichi explain what he could of the technical parts, and had spent many sleepless nights considering every possible outcome, including what he had been told a long time ago about the Sky Arcobaleno's power and even possible consequences from Byakuran's death.

He had thought about it all, and yet he didn't remember the simple fact that past Reborn would be present the whole time? If there was even the slightest chance of the Arcobaleno being brought back, shouldn't he have considered all the minimal details of it? Tsuna was the boss. Wasn't it his job to look out for everyone in his famiglia no matter what?

Reborn was famiglia, but he was also _family_ , had been for so long. And now he was dead, with no way of coming back.

Tsuna only noticed he was crying when he felt something warm drip onto his hands. After that, it was like a dam had been broken, and the tears came quickly one after another until it was too much and Tsuna was left trembling with heavy sobs.

How could he have been so careless?! So stupid?! This was his family, this was _Reborn_ , the person who gave him this life, the life Tsuna had cursed so much at the beginning, but was now his everything. The one who brought him and his friends together, who took a hold of his life and turned it upside down, who changed him, Dame-Tsuna, a clumsy teen who was bad at everything and had accepted it into someone who _could do_ things, who was loved and loved back.

And Tsuna had repaid him by leaving him to his death.

He still remembered it vividly, how Reborn started looking paler and paler every day, how he slowly became weaker but kept working nonetheless, how he always insisted he could still keep going until he collapsed one day. He had fought against the Anti Tri-ni-sette with all his strength, and Tsuna had watched it all, unable to do anything to stop it. Some of the Arcobaleno had already succumbed to it, and Reborn hadn't been far behind. This knowledge had haunted Tsuna even when he was asleep.

After the memories started playing on his head, there was no way to stop them, no matter how much Tsuna shook his head, sniffed and gasped "No, no, no, no," because he cursedly remembered it too well. The time when Reborn could barely walk anymore and was confined to his bed, and the dissatisfaction he felt at it clear to anyone who bothered to look. And yet, he didn't try to argue, didn't try to resist all the tests and evaluations Tsuna had Shamal do on him.

Watching Reborn slowly die coupled with the crumbling of the famiglia he had struggled so much to change had been too much for Tsuna. He had spent a lot of his free time beside Reborn, and their strangely comforting conversations at the time were what had kept him from breaking with the pressure, the harsh yet soothing and sometimes mocking words grounding him.

For a moment, Tsuna had thought he could do it. He could put his plan into action before that madness spread more. Everything would work out.

Then Reborn's health took a turn for worse.

Tsuna also remembered that evening well, wasn't sure this memory would ever go away. It was etched on his mind, how frail Reborn's tiny hand had looked when Tsuna held it, how his pitch black eyes were fogged, barely held open, how his voice hadn't been more than a whisper and yet he took the effort to utter those words, to tell Tsuna he should stay strong and how Reborn was so damn proud of him-

His breath hitched, and Tsuna curled more into himself with a groan. He probably looked pitiful, and he could imagine Reborn going on about how this wasn't fit for a boss. But Tsuna was alone, and Reborn wasn't here, so there was only silence to meet his gasps for breath and his sobs. This was unfair, this was so unfair, and Tsuna wanted nothing more than to curse out at the heavens, to break something, to scream.

Tsuna squeezed the pacifier on his hand, its coldness remaining no matter how much he wished, no matter for how long he held it. It was empty, dead like its former owner.

There was a heaviness on his chest. Tsuna wanted Reborn here, alive, scolding him for the craziness that had been his plan but also enjoying the peace that was bound to come. He wanted him here to roll his eyes when he complained about paperwork and annoying reunions, while also advising him on what to do. Reborn hadn't been Tsuna's tutor anymore, but he had never left him, had never stopped caring.

The fact that none of this would ever happen again left a bitter feel on Tsuna's mouth, and he didn't think he had ever felt more useless than he did now. To have all of the Arcobaleno but Reborn brought back because of one stupid, careless miscalculation? A stupid mistake Tsuna was sure he could have prevented if _only he had thought about it before_?!

A sudden flickering in the light behind his eyelids made Tsuna open eyes he didn't remember closing. He looked at the blurry form of his lamp just in time to see its light flicker one more time before dying out, sending Tsuna into darkness.

A wet humorless laugh replaced his sobs, bitter and angry and full of heartache, before it was interrupted when Tsuna started coughing. His lips quivered down, tears still sliding his face in hot trails and dripping onto his hands.

The pacifier was still icy in his hands, and yet, Tsuna didn't think he could release it, release his last physical link with Reborn. Not now.

He knew he should go back to his friends, his family, soon, before someone got too worried and came search him. He knew it, and he'd go back to them, would stop bringing them problems, and would go back to being their support. He knew he had to.

But for now, he'd cry and grief for a lost family.


End file.
